Dear Sir:
 
 I would like to apply for the position of Senior
 Technical Writer. I work
 well with urinals. And I believe that my knowledge
 and experience with them
 takes the cake.
 
 Here is my resume for your perusal. Thank you for
 your consideration.
 
 Xxxxx Xxxxxxxx
 
 
 Xxxxx X. Xxxxxxx
 XXX Xxxxxx Ave. 
 Xxxxxxx, XX XXXXX
 (XXX) XXX-XXX 
 brian@bhalligan.com
 
 URINAL WRITING EXPERIENCE
 Advertising Copywriter at New York Agency- Urinal
 Cake division 
 (6/99 through present). Wrote directions for
 assembly and use of 
 five-hundred urinals shipped to House of Blues
 locations in 
 Des Moines, Antartica, and Vatican City (3/99 though
 6/99). Wrote
 a lavatory book, "Straight Ahead: The Grandeur of
 Walls
 Slightly Above America's Small Town Urinals" after
 college.
 
 EDUCATION
 University Real de Madrid, Madrid, Spain 
 Bachelor of Arts, August 1993 to May 1997 
 Major: Urinal Studies 
 Research assistant for paper on U.S. critiques of
 Chinese urinal
 implementation 
 T.A. for a 400 level womens' "Urinal Discovery"
 course
 Created a urinal height survey utilized by American
 Standard
 Wrote computer programs to evaluate survey data 
 
 AWARDS AND HONORS 
 U. Rea. Dean's List (1995-1997)
 Internship with Miniature Blue Tile Inc. (1997) 
 Chosen to be a research assistant for a Urinal
 Studies professor's doctoral
 thesis 
 
 URINAL EXPERIENCE 
 Conversant with all platforms (left and right
 handed). Bathroom fixture
 flash reflection 
 avoidance, 20 lb. tripod smuggling, urinal cake
 freshness indication,
 urinal to human 
 height gauging, denial of motion-detector flush
 shock.  
 
 ACTIVITIES 
 Water boy for U. Rea. Baseball Team (1996-1997) 
 Urinal photography for U. Rea. yearbook, The
 Flushman 
 American Ceramics Society (1995 to present) 
 
 REFERENCES 
 My references are available upon request.